Scandalous
by masruiiiik
Summary: Hidan was just going to grab a late-night snack when he saw Sasori and Deidara doing something absolutely... scandalous. On the kitchen counter no less. Maybe he and Kakuzu should try it sometime. Mentions of SasoDei and KakuHida. Crack-fic!


**A/N: Ahh, I was in a funny, bubbly, happy mood. So this story came to be.**

**Enjoy!**

-o-

**Scandalous**

-o-

Hidan sighed happily as he stepped out into the darkened corridor, the steam from his shower wisping through the bathroom door and swirling around the empty hallway.

That last sacrifice to Jashin-sama had been amazing.

Watching the fear cloud heavily over that old, plump, stupid looking man's face and then that sharp, intense pain… oh Jashin, it was beautiful. Seeing all that blood dripping onto the cream colored carpeting, and to make everything even better, Hidan knew exactly how Kakuzu would react tomorrow morning when he saw Hidan's life source stained heavily on the carpets and walls.

Cackling quietly to himself, Hidan made his way to the kitchen where he could grab a bite to eat before diving under the covers with Kakuzu. The walk to the kitchen was a merry one, as Hidan was still high from the last kill. The shadows of the halls stretched and danced on the walls, sharing the Jashinist's joy.

Rounding the corner, Hidan heard soft noises coming from his designated location. Shrugging off the late hour and deciding that it was probably just Zetsu getting a midnight snack (well, that human arm had been sitting in their freezer for quite some time), the albino continued on his way. 

Hidan opened the door to the kitchen, ready to just bound in when he saw who was actually occupying the kitchen at the time (not Zetsu, thank Jashin). It was Sasori and Deidara… doing something so absolutely _scandalous_ that even Hidan blushed.

Hidan. Blushed. Oh yeah.

Sasori and Deidara obviously didn't notice Hidan's abrupt entrance as the two continued doing _that_. Hidan couldn't help but let his mouth flap open as he twitched at the act.

This was outrageous. Even he and Kakuzu hadn't gone that far into their relationship yet. Well, actually, that could be accounted for the fact that Kakuzu had the worst temper ever and is probably the most antisocial freak ever (running after Uchiha Itachi and Sasuke, of course. The Uchihas cannot be beat), but come on, Sasori was pretty damn antisocial too, and he was a puppet to top if off, yet he and Deidara were still… getting at it.

In the kitchen, no less.

Oh Jashin-almighty, Hidan would never be able to look at the counter ever again.

As the albino continued standing there, absolutely speechless, Sasori finally seemed to notice his presence; because the puppet-master's big brown eyes quickly trained themselves onto Hidan.

"Hidan? What are you doing here?" Sasori asked. Deidara whipped around, his blonde locks flapping all over the place as he too stared at Hidan. Hidan quickly gathered back his composure.

"I could ask you fuckers the same thing! Why are you guys here in the middle of the night, doing _that_?" Hidan demanded, pointing a (slightly) shaky finger at the redhead and the blonde.

Deidara cocked his head, cutely, to the side, "Is something the matter Hidan-kun, yeah?"

"Of course there is, bitch! (Sasori growled at that bit.) This… this is abso-fucking-lutely scandalous!"

"Well what do you know Hidan," Sasori seemed amused as he shifted a bit on the kitchen counter, "I didn't even know that you understand what such a long word meant." His tone was mocking.

"Shut up, wood-cock!" Hidan started flailing his arms around frantically. "This is embarrassing! Can't you guys do this in your bedroom or something? But on the fucking counter? Have you two no shame?"

Deidara and Sasori shared a look before the former giggled happily and the latter smirked in obvious amusement. Deidara lifted up their intertwined hands before happily informing his zealot friend, "Hidan-kun, it's completely normal to hold hands with your significant other in public."

-o-

"Hey, 'Kuzu," Hidan asked his older partner the next day as Kakuzu sat at his desk, busily scribbling down numbers onto a scrap piece of paper ("Think of the environment, people!" Konan screamed.) while flipping through a thick wad of cash.

"What is it now, Hidan?" Kakuzu asked tiredly, somewhat annoyed that the albino interrupted his money-counting sessions again but knowing through personal experience that it was always best to answer Hidan than to ignore him (God knows, Kakuzu was still mourning over the huge count of one dollar and fifty-nine cents that Hidan had thrown and flushed down the toilet in utter frustration at being ignored by Kakuzu).

"'Kuzu, let's hold hands."

Kakuzu whirled around in shock as he stared at his white-haired partner. Hidan stared back, steadily holding Kakuzu's emerald green eyes by his own magenta orbs.

"Hidan," Kakuzu couldn't help but gasp in shock, "Don't be brash. We're not ready to do this!"

"Yes we are, 'Kuzu! And you know what?" Hidan asked with mischievous, twinkling eyes, "Let's do it on the kitchen counter."

Kakuzu gasped even more. "Hidan! That's so… scandalous!"

Hidan just grinned. "Exactly."

-o- 


End file.
